Make Way for Piggies

For lent, I give up my body. Wish it were only til Easter, though. Oy.

Am I to give up for forty days or for 18 years??

Oh, ps- I gave up my diet for lent and the blessings I will be receiving will be tenfold in the form of weight. Excited!! You know happiness is around the corner when your endocrinologist has recommended a daily dose of ice cream. Yay.

Piggly wiggly.

I can't move bc the food from this week has deposited itself in ways that are far foreign from my natural state. Thank you, vacation, thank you, sister, thank you Boston. I am happy for both of us.

Dancin with myse-helf.... Oh Oh, oh-oh....

Super Mario swimming theme.

Only thing leaping here is in my belly.

Man town reconstituted as man cave. But, oh what will we do without the Betamax or laserdisc players??!!! Making room, making sacrifices....

A fine weekend for my husband to leave me for the slopes- it'll rain all day tomorrow, and the otherwise only packed powder of the season will melt into mush. Aw, I guess I'm trying to feel sorry for him. But he did say he'd rent a helmet, which makes Junior feel a little more secure.

Happy Girls Day. Japanese tradition to put out offerings for the future of daughters- sounds like an eastern form of hallmarkism. I'm certainly celebrating (go japonaise bakery!!!), even if dad's not with me and I don't know whether or not I'll have a daughter... I could go out in the snow and dance.... Ok, some sights aren't meant for public consumption.... #turningjapanese

Fulfilling my parental duty. Just had an "Oreo surprise," otherwise known as a hydrox surprise from Rancatore's in Lex. An invention by a genius friend who once worked there. You frappe the ice cream, add hot butterscotch topping and then you froth it at the espresso machine. Oh, how I adore motherhood. #thankgodforendocrinologistsorders

Full moon causes me
To write haiku til morning
My, how one gets bored

Prep for west=wake up LATER, Wiggly. Not earlier. At least husband's snoring is in the west and not keeping me awake too. OB is betting on a girl- says kid's playing mind games already. I think it's a boy- only boys could be this big a pain in the butt.... Oh, did I say that out loud??

Haiku of the night:
Wicked tired now
Autobiographical
University

Ready, set......... Don't kill.

Mood Bad=Piggly Hungry. Don't need a perfect SAT score to know that.

Spaceship on my nose
It will take off right away
Popping zits is gross

Princess I am not
Pricked my finger four times, ow
Not a drop of blood

Piggly not so good
Mommy feel like crap again
Will it ever end?

Piggly woke me up
Aching in my belly, stop
At least its heart beats

If y'all don't stop with the name suggestions, I'll name "her" Agamemnon Tiberius Craig, not joking.

Gracious I am not
I spent hours writing poems
FB lost them all

Didn't drink, but I have a hangover. #preggostylestpaddys

Haha!! Mouth full of pepper made me think I still have allergy symptoms. Oh, thank heavens for Piggly.

Piggly wants a date with Bronto, our new blue bracchio, in the sun. Schnuggling has never been so great.

Turning cold again and Piggly is unhappy. Reminder of the unpleasant days. Boo.

Piggly has a friend
We got Wiggly at the store
Crowded is the bed

Tonight, I celebrate my husband, the saint. After he worked late tonight, he filled my car with gas. Then he came home and made me pizza. He did the laundry. He took me to get ice cream. He made our bed. He hooked up my computer to the big screen bc I was mad that ion didn't conclude its cliff hanger episode of criminal minds tonight, so he amazon'd the episode. He put up with my mean faces and snide remarks. He did all this before....... Now, he cleans up after Piggly's latest expression, which has thoroughly clogged the plumbing in the bathroom, which I now can no longer be near because of the stench. #toogoodamanforme

Shortest OB visit on record- I'm good if she's good.

Piggly got complimented this day, being told it's wiggly. Wiggly is now amused.

‎3 Dr.'s v. Sally n Piggs this morn. I think I know who's gonna win today, and sadly, ain't us.

If we are healthier than we've ever been, why am I seeing more docs than ever?? I know- cause I'm too old for this crap......

Daddy goes away
Piggly thinks it funny that
Daddy tries to jump

Piggly dancing out of control while listening to Liszt- everyone warned me not to bring up Liszt! Oh my, is it time for some Brahms already??!!

My favorite name suggestion yet: Armageddon Apocalypse Craig. Thank my bestest friend to make the most astute observation.

Piggs has been patiently waiting and waiting and waiting... til my bladder is full so that bouncing off it would be more fun.

What to do?? 53 minutes til the closing of kimball farm's opening day; haven't had dinner and I'm running out of time. #mustfeedpigglybrainfood

Ah, acupuncture! Why didn't anyone say this before??!! #pigglymightnothurtmetoday

I wanted to sleep in. Piggly did not. My husband still snores. Ladies, is this how it will be for the next year!?!?!???!?!???!?!? Gah.

Ok, piggly likes dad now. He is creating breakfast while mom plays angry birds space.

Get to see Piggs in all it's glory today.

Piggs in glory: I need to reschedule ultrasound bc piggly was too wiggly.

Dear Piggly,
I love you for who you are and for who you are not. Please try to reciprocate. Love,
Mom

Dear Piggs, I desperately want to wake up one day and be able to feel my limbs. Can you kindly grant me that?? Would you please??? Love, Mom.

Haiku of the day from two days ago:
Inspiration gone
Haikus only when there's pain
Piggly loves me now

Haikus are back. Today's:

Piggly hates me now
I am more inspired now
Calgon isn't here.

Just cause Piggs is being a little rat, my husband is making up for it. He made me Belgian waffles and bacon before heading out to scouts. What a stud.

Piggly really loves Russian cello sonatas. Couldn't keep still!!

Piggs was wonderful today. I, on the other hand, had a hard time seeing 4:30am without someone dragging me out. Outside of the shocked bounce, reacting to the loud canon, Piggly was fairly tame throughout the morning's activities including a refreshing walk home from the Lexington hoopla before it got too hot. Piggs must have been humming the Rachmaninoff cello sonata (last movement, of course- Piggs is no sap) bc I can't get it out of my head.

Hubby at alex ross talk, first in line for autograph. Free parking at Hynes. Yummy food before the game. Leisure walk to Fenway. All went downhill from there: sox plummet to embarrassing September flashback. So bad, I was entertained by the wave. Further amused at stupid Texas fan ejection after a bleacher brawl. Recalling that not hearing dirty water, tessie, buttercup, etc meant a long ride home. At least we caught a pleasant pedicab ride to the car, but after following the same pedicab back towards Fenway, we witnessed a scary bike accident where the guy flipped over his handlebars. called 911, rang many times before an answer, then rang many more times in transfer to medic. Hope all is ok. Piggs was very distressed by the evening's end. #needabackrubtomakeitallgoaway

Piggs is not shy
Ultrasound better go well
Not doing again

Why was I scowling at so many people today??? Oh. I forgot to eat. Piggs has been helpfully reminding me to eat by making me more nauseas. Go figs, Piggs?? You can help me dream of iron chef standard food, and I PROMISE better results. This, however hurts us both. Sweetie, read "Getting to yes" and other kind of "we're on the same side" kind of books before I stop being amenable to compromise. I assure you, you want a mommy rooting for you when you come out.

Piggly was good today. After having a heart to heart, I think my smart kid came to the realization that I'm not trying to make its life horrible. So there was Piggsy, all docile and meek for the first time ever. Too bad the rest of the day was payback....

So why, oh why has it taken me THIS long to get to a local chiropractor that I love??? Piggs and I are finally getting along.

Ok, Piggies. Ready to take on the world.

Piggies had a good day today. Mommy is happy.

Good day, good night, Piggs.

Dr. Last time said, "suck it up," when I said anti-nausea meds have little effect. Let's see what good news she's got for me today.

Why oh why is it that I feel less like Poseidon and more like Titanic? #steppedonscalebyaccident

The sun blazes, and Piggs digs. Yummy vitamin d.

Ok, Piggs. Here we go. Four Dr.s appointments before noon. Let's do this.

Did anyone else get food poisoning last night, or was I just getting more wrath of Piggs? And no, alcohol poisoning wasn't a factor for me...

Got home at around 1am, gigging by 8:30am. Life of musician? Oh no, just a crazy preggo lady. Wish I weren't playing chordal Vaughan Williams without practice. It's bad enough trying to play chords when I'm cognitively alert.

Piggies doesn't like redsox losses, being food poisoned or bad music. All of these seem to bring on the "I hate mommy" dance. My ribs need a break. These all happened this week.

Piggies is cute this morning. Squirming and worming in a sweet way. Not trying to kill me today. Must be pretty close to toxin free. Yay.

Muffat mass- Piggs apparently likes hanging out next to tymps and brass. Kicks me if singing is flat, though. Better rehearse some more...

Muffat Mass-Beastie Boys-Spectrum Singers Concert. Full day for Piggy.

Piggies is wondering why the game is still going. Aren't we supposed to have already lost and I throw my tantrum?

Anyone recommend a nutritionist who won't make me feel old and diseased because I'm prego? I don't know about the old part, but I'm certainly not diseased. Anyone who believes that my sugar levels are worth the fire engine red level alerts that they seem to be eschewing doesn't know what diabetes is. And for the record, NO, I'm NOT DIABETIC!! And as hellacious as this pregnancy has been, I'm still unwilling to call Piggy a disease.

Ok, TODAY is it. Good vibes, peeps, good vibes. I'll forget this morning happened, and I'll pretend I just woke up 5 minutes ago fully rested and full of life. Piggy will agree.

Piggies and I are having a good day today. I declare it.

So far so good. Waking up at 5:30 is one thing, but being on the road before 7 is entirely another. Piggies has been on quite the adventure. Let's see what more we have in store today!!

Piggies is in for a wild ride today. Meeting new friends, hearing good music, and doin a lot in the car. Oh wait. That was yesterday too. Tomorrow too!! A day in the life. I'm definitely pro this life.

At what point is enough enough? I fear my nesting has become obsessive (of course, not because I see it, but rather because everyone else is telling me so...)!

Phew, Piggs and I had an adventure singing most of the Muffat mass in one standing- well, til we tumbled over briefly!! #passingoutonstageamountstomuchsympathy

Mothers day in style. On the Portsmouth waterfront eating lobster, clams, scallops and chowdah. "Oh yeah, baby," says the Piggs.

Capped off mothers day as a real mother- after sleeping with Piggs from 8-12, the husband woke me as he went to bed and I haven't slept a wink since.

For mothers day, Piggs went real estate shopping. Went for the penthouse in the rib cage. Ow.

Is piggies ok today? Feels like a lump o coal.

Whoa, Piggies. What's with the triple combo kicks?? Mom can only take so much!!

Couldn't Piggs find someone else to plague??!!

Piggies, we're going on mom n dad's anniversary road trip. That means mom needs some sleep. I can foresee the future (so says the Emperor), I will be saying this on my birthday too.

Anyone recommend a good restaurant in the dc area? Piggs and I are hungry.

Piggs and me at the Jefferson....

Sox win. We'll have a good year. Piggs says, uh yeah.....

Here we go again. How many grey hairs do I have at the end of all of my Dr. appointments? Shall we bet?? My starting blood pressure might be low, but after 5 people telling me I'm too old, too at risk and too something else, I might just gain eclampsia. Pissers. But no, I shall go in with the intention that we are not only healthy, but we can be happy with whatever whack-job of medical care I seem to be receiving. Remind me again why I bother paying for my insurance?? Oh, Piggs just said, "Cause you wanna deliver a healthy me and cover your tracks just in case." Nuff said (especially when in morse code by way of kicks).

I was REALLY nice about the way I told a doc to go ---- itself, and the result was surprisingly pleasant. Yay. Piggs and I can do this.

Piggs and I are chillin between the docs. We like our life right about now.

Piggies and I like getting natural vitamin d- who needs the pill form?! (except me when I'm not preggers cause I'm usually so deficient that my doc asks if I live in Seattle)

Waited for the day Piggs wakes up dad with a kick. That day has come.

Piggies wants to be on the scout camp out too. #misseskickingdadawake

Husband not home= Piggs not waking me up.... What's up with that??!! I slept in for the first time, peacefully!!!

Asked the husband to meet me at panera because his child and wife were tanking. We finished the whole meal and are still waiting.... Not because he's slow!

So I'm a little behind the times- just saw hunger games and thought to myself, I just can't market myself like that anymore. I guess that's what my child is for.... Hallelujah. Yay, Team Piggs. It's killing me, I know.

How, oh how cruel is this- the first time I wake without being woken up by Piggies is because I have a gig. I suppose it was only a matter of time- Piggs was right behind me. But still- the actual thought of getting a full night's rest-- alas, I am a parent already.

Piggies, why so mean to mom tonight? Be nice!!

Is there such a bed that looks like one of those massage chairs in the airports? I'm having trouble working out the Piggs positioning, and we're both losing sleep over it. Who designed this pregnancy thing anyway? Proof that god is fallible.

Was talking to Piggs about more cowbell, and Piggs answered with the appropriate response.

I now know why we spend all this money on maternity clothes worn for such a short time and never again: with all the friggin food that drops on them before it hits my mouth, there ain't enough detergent in the world.

My Dear Piggies, will you settle down some so that mommy can get some sleep tonight? You've been non-stop today, and I'm beginning to wonder if all that crack I had today is rubbing off on you. Hmmmm.

Dear Piggs, mommy loves two things more than life: being woken up by your violence and being kept awake by dad's snoring. Be sure to take note. Love, Mom.

My awesome husband is making me strawberry shortcake because I'm tanked. I think I married well.

Is it because I'm pregnant, totally hormonal and stressed out that it seems my day of evaluations is causing a premature case of eclampsia?? I just need one kid not to come in so nervous that I start freaking out!! Serenity now!!!!!

Piggies, it's a free week!! We don't have to teach AND we get to hang out with people!!! And since our recital is not for a couple of weeks, no stressing!!! Today, let's make a point to sing in the rain. It's better than dad's singing in the shower.

What time is it??!!!!!!!!!! Oops. #notpayingattentiontoappointments

Piggs, you ok??

So, after dad taught Piggs morse code the other night (yes, the rusty variety that spells the dimensions of the playmate of the month), Piggs said to me today, "Mom, why is it that food is better when dad feeds us? Peas and carrots are fine, but mom, dad gives us homemade strawberry shortcake with local organic strawberries that just go skwoosh and local ice cream from a dairy farm that is super creamy. You don't feed me that." Kid's got a point.

Oh yes, Piggies is definitely back. Just sayin, "Ma, didn't mean to scare you- just hate that pokin and proddin at the hospital, you know. Now, I'm going to practice sparring. I'm really good and it's super fun."

Just listened to Maria Callas singing Mimi in Boheme. Piggs liked that. Piggsie likes a young Callas rather than a more "mature" Callas. I think I'll have to agree. Good snobbery begets good snobbery.

Were maternity g's designed by men too? I'm beginning to believe I should remove myself from such patriarchal systems.

This is a 200+ point ticket to ride morning. Piggs, hang on, it's gonna be a good day.

Three hours awake and only thing to show for it is my mad ticket to ride skill. Pathetic.

Happy fathers day, y'all!! It's a grand celebration of wonderful men today!!!!

When my phone is on silent and I fall asleep holding it, Siri needs a stfu button. Why must she bee beep me when I don't want anything to do with her??!! #takingonthecharacteristicsofmyunbornchild

First night without strawberry shortcake. Was I unbearable?? #whatidotoavoidinsulin #mypoorhusbandhasonelesssecretweapon

Met another prego-happy woman today and traded horror stories. Glad I'm not the only one....

My student made me dinner. My sox are winning with big plays. My husband rubs my feet. Life is good.

Anyone have a pool I can raid this summer? I don't know if I'll be able to keep up the charade called being preggers with a smile. Oh yes, all that moaning an groaning has still had a smile behind. This is becoming unbearable. I might evict Piggs earlier than Harry Potter's bday at this rate.... #piggiesdefinitelylovesrubies

Mission today: in search of hair clips and doodads. If not, the hair goes. #heatsucksforthepreggers

Hair took a backseat- car is being a bigger baby than either Piggs or me. Sixth time in six weeks at the mechanic. Piss. #atwhichpointdoihawkthecarandcallitgood

Piggs definitely likes Beethoven.

Piggies loves the morning air. I don't.

Last Natural Childbirth class tonight- I'll miss it. We get to go on a tour of the hospital today!!

My husband has done it!! We shall name our child Walker Norris Craig. I'm still partial to Agamemnon Tiberius Craig, however, I'm liking the strong Southern pull of my husband's suggestion. THIS is why I married him.

Piggs, I love that you are active. I know you want to play. Mommy needs at least one more hour. Can we please go back to sleep just for now? If not, you might find me a bigger monster than I was yesterday. Daddy wouldn't like that. You don't ever disappoint daddy, right? Let's start today as if it were the beginning of the week, ok?

Is this weather driving Piggs crazy?! Yes. Child, how do you not stop wiggling day and night? Even I with all my energy can't keep up!!!

Sleep, glorious sleep!! It took FOUR days for this kid to stay calm enough for me to sleep!!! This will be an excellent day. I am surely excited. Yay.

Piggs is good. Yay.

Stuck on the shoulder of I-95. Car breakdown number "I don't have that many fingers and toes anymore" for the Honda Craig Clan. Thank God today is supposed to hit only 95 with thick humidity. #iheartsummerpregnancy

After a long day: clever Craigslist purchase made for the babe, the husband's car is at the mechanic's, Piggies got another ride with the tow truck (nice vibrations), excellent friends were available and able to save our day, we spent time with good friend from "home" including a duck tour, over shopped at target, and are grilling steaks and corn on the barbie. Piggies has most certainly been making up for the nice sleep I was given last night (perhaps by accident). I'd say it's turning out to be a typical day for the Honda Craig Clan. #exhaustedandreadytoditchthispregnancyanydaynow #thankgodforwonderfulfriends

Heat exhaustion when preggers sucks.

Practicing my stern mom voice: Piggies, it's time for bed. Go to sleep!! I'd like to make sure tomorrow is not like today.

If I busy myself to the point where I can't breathe today, will that make tomorrow that much more rewarding?? #whatidotomyself #preggerssayswho #letsgettheshowontheroadpiggs

Leg cramps that wake the dead, e.g., me, well- another great indicator of being present to living. This one just won't go away, though. Does this mean I'll live forever?! #gratefulformyhubbysmassage#onlyhappensonaholidaywheneveryoneiknowisclosed #calgontakemeaway

Had a conversation about terrible music last night, and now with the 4th stuff all over, can't get firework out of my head. Curses. Piggs is very unhappy. Rightly so.

I feel.... Hungover.

Do we need to wear a Yankees Suck tshirt for Piggies today? Piggs is most certainly in the right camp. Piggie's first live game after birth will be a Yankee game too, and lo, as some members of my family may be saddened, we'll be rooting for the correct home team here. #lovethatdirtywater

Piggs goes boom, Gon Gon goes gone. Piggs goes boom, Salti goes boom. I like this kid.

This shoulda happened last night. Piggs deserves to be rewarded for its efforts. I would morse HR, and Piggs delivered. But Piggies got tired at the end of the game and we lost. Tonight was as it shoulda been. Final.

The last of toxic MD's fired today. They've ALL been replaced. Yay. I think this last stretch of pregnancy might just be tolerable. #imnottoooldtoofattoothisorthat

Why oh why??? When I'm sound asleep, Piggs kicks me back to consciousness. When I get up, Piggs knocks me around. When dad says, "let me feel," Piggs goes dark. Causes dad to say, "I have a calming effect..." Grrrrrrrrrr.

Car's in the shop. Can we get by on one car in the shop between the three of us?? Hmmm, seems a little tricky, especially for Piggs. "Who's gonna rock me to sleep," says Piggies. #thefutureisnotindependencefromoilbutfromcars #doweremberhowtowalkwithoutairconditioning #commuterrailadventureherewecome

Mantra: Piggies can sink low, for it means a sooner descent. Owwwwww. Repeat.

Piggies, is it that you're so excited about your baby mobile or is it that unhappiness about sitting at a car dealership for 6 hours that has you dropping further and squirming more!?!

Piggs is freaking out. Mom, this isn't Bea. Mom, who is this? Mom, the wheel feels different. She drives funny. Wait, is she an automatic?!?!?! Mom, what's going on??? Yes, Piggs, this is Daddy's babymobile. Dad will pick up mommy's later tonight- the registration got hung up, so I had to take his car instead. But she's still a black civic, so you'll be used to that... Oh wait.

Awaiting Q&A with Amma. Then she feeds us. Then she hugs us. That's what a mother is all about.

Is there anyone who can console a distraught preggo lady at Starbucks because the barista refuses to make an iced short chai? "I can just make a tall one..." says he to the diabetic who is calculating every last damned carb...... Needless to say, without consolation, said preggo lady threw a fit and got what she wanted. Great customer service.

I apparently woke up this morning with a smile (a rare occurrence in the Honda house...). My husband is in a good mood, and I asked, "ya think those cushions from relax the back were worth $300?" and without hesitation he said, "damn straight!!" Oh, what a good night's sleep would do!! My wonder and awe was, why didn't Piggies wake me at 5:30 this morning?!?!?! I'm ok not knowing, for I slept til Hubby's alarm woke us up!!!! Yay!!!!!! #yetanotherthingishouldhavedoneawhileago

At the Children's Museum, Boston. Since I didn't bring a child, I must leave an I'd at the front desk and wear a creep badge around until I leave. Yay.

Dear Piggies, it's before Thursday yet, and I know you don't believe in letting mom sleep before the next day turns over. I make a special request that you let me sleep tonight because we have a nicely planned long day tomorrow, and I would love to not be cranky through it. I bought you Boston creme pie, and we even have pastries from the Japonaise bakery. Good things happen when mom is in a good mood.

Confessions of a gestational diabetic: the Boston creme TOTALLY hit the spot.

Mornin, Piggs. What's the hurry today? Mom's been up an hour with you already and we're not yet back to sleep??!! Did dad's snoring wake you too?? Oh no, is it the Boston creme high from last night?? Man, remind me not to do that again!! Note to self: eat Boston creme pie in the morning.....

Cooking lots of vegan foods for Piggie's party. Getting super inspired. Just made a broccoli/carrot slaw with medjool dates n walnuts, super yummy. about to make a million bean salad. Yay.

Piggies says food is good. Yoga is good. Music is good, so long as it's good. Taking pictures, however- well, we'll just have to see about that. Man, this is definitely my child.

Piggs is going "deep, deep, deep undercover," as Axel Foley would have once said...

A step closer to being ready for Piggs. We hired movers to turn our world around. Officially, mantown is now babytown, and our room got flipped so we have room for a changing table and a cosleeper. Yay. I am feeling less anxious.

Ok, Piggs. Mom n Dad spent lots of money and time today making things ready in the house for you. Dad even changed the sheets for you, since he was concerned about having kicked up too much dust in cleaning the bedroom. Now it would behoove you to cooperate with mom and sleep now, since mom has got a jammed day full of stuff for you tomorrow too. Remember how happy you were when she took you to yoga and opened up some space for you? She's planning that tomorrow too. So you need to let her rest so that she can not fall asleep on the way over. And Piggs, just recognize that when mom jerks bc you kicked her so hard, that's not a good thing.

Why can daddy sleep on while Piggs wakes the dead over here?? Ya think 4 hours of sleep is going to make mom happy today?!?!?! #cantwaittohandoffpiggsat3amtoacrankydaddy #ifonlytherewerea9monthtrainingprogramfordads #hahahethinksimahandfuljustyouwait

Oooooh, is it that Piggie's head, which leans so left he's commie, is blocking an artery while I sleep and therefore causing all of my woes? I thought it strange last night when he was playing bongos on me that it ended up feeling like it was on my leg. Hmmmm, I might be on to something here. #pleasestophurtingmombutdont

Dad's snoring better not keep Piggs awake any longer than acceptable. I'm getting a thunderstorm of kicks over here, seeming much like a choreographed dance.

My Hubby is the bestest bestest. He is planning a weekend at home to clean for Piggs while I go teach and do the things I do away from home. When I get back, will the rest of the house be Piggi-ized? Craigslisted? Excited to see what happens!!!

I just got a flash of inspiration. How about buttermilk Belgian waffles, bacon and eggs for breakfast, homemade clam chowder (cause my friend rocks and brought me quahogs last night) and some veal saltimboca for dinners? One can never settle for too little pork or dairy in the diet when being told otherwise... #piggscanliveandsocani

I had a dream.... That I blinked and wiggled my nose like Elizabeth Montgomery and my house was clean. This could be as daunting a dream as MLK's dream- possible and probable in good time, but VERY visionary for the time. I think I need to hire the sorcerer's apprentice. I have an incredible husband, but alas, even he only has one set of hands. I need the multiplying buckets of mops, etc.

We didn't know we could still fit in a picture.

Didn't think to put this out there, but anyone have a referral for a great pediatrician who is accepting new clients in the metro-west area (Lex, Waltham, Newton, Wellesley, Concord, etc)?! We didn't think it would be such a daunting task....

What's up w FB?! Not letting me post for two days is a massive fail when I'm ready to pop. Just so y'all know, I'm still friggin preggers.

Do I sense my nutritionist being a bit facetious when she says, well, I suppose your sugar numbers are good for the food that you're eating.... What's wrong with the strawberry rhubarb pie I made the other day? I used stevia.

I must be coming closer to motherhood- The UPS guy AND the FEDEX guy knows my name now. Consequences of becoming an amazon mom.

Piggs and I totally feel violated. Cattle-prodded at our ridiculously stressful "non-stress test" today, and now the contractions have stopped, Piggs is totally pissed at me, and he's retreated to big uncle position (5 weeks overdue). I felt kicked in the ribs for the first time in two weeks. If her idea was to scare Piggs back in so that he'd not come out til what she considers 39 weeks, I think she did a damn good job.

Ok, if I can't stand up, I can't sit down, I can't really lie down what can I do?! #ineedtostopbeingpreggersnow

Oh btw, if you're wondering why I'm not calling you back?? I hate the world right now and you don't want to hear from me.

Yesterday, the unsolicited advice of the family friend of the day came in the form of, "Make sure you don't keep the kid sleeping in silence." That's never been a problem, since dad can't seem to stop snoring long enough for me to fall asleep...

Does it really take a student sleeping in and missing her lesson for me to rediscover that I love to play Bach? Bach with belly is gut. Hahaha, I am surprised at how corny I get with Piggs!!

Can anyone recommend a cleaning service for the home? I'm not walking or bendin too well these days, and my mother is coming in at 5am on Wednesday. #procrastinationfail

Pesky too?! This is depressing me. Hopefully Piggs's spirit is so low that he'll just drop out. Ha. Wishful thinking, I know.

Just cause I'm up to see the sunrise daily now doesn't make me a morning person...... Got that, Piggs?

Oh yes, tis the day three years ago when the Sox were away that my love and I tied the knot at Fenway. Wally was my flower girl and the Pesky Pole my witness. Thanks for all you wonderful friends for supporting us throughout our equally cool marriage. Thanks, my lovely hubbs for countless amazing culinary creations and shared memories. Oh, and I am ever so blessed to have your mad cleaning skill too. You're the best. ♥ Piggs will join us for our next ballpark journey!!!

My sweet love will have a cluttered but clean home tonight. So happy for people who save my sanity when I'm clearly about to totally lose it. Ok, ok. I can't lose what I've never had, I get it, but I can at least pretend. So that quote I got? Well, they called for backup, so I think I'm in for a little more than I thought. Oh well, it shall get done, and done is worth every penny.

Interviewing pediatricians. Wish us luck.

Who needs sleep anyway?! Oh no- am I showing my age by admitting that this post just triggered the mental jukebox into playing Eurasure's "Who Needs Love Like That?!"

No no, too soon to join the mothers up with their babies at all hours of the night club!! Mine ain't born yet!!!! The only ones reading and posting now are those with yunguns who keep them up... What am I in for?!?!??!

Excited that my mommy made it to Boston today.

Gaining peace with Piggs. Had a dream we talked. I said that I'll try to be more patient and wait for Piggies to make the move, and Piggs said that we'll be soon there enough. I don't hate the world today.

A contraction!! First one in a week. Oh, what trauma and drama does. Thanks, Piggs. We're on the same team, buddy. Uh oh, better secure someone to deliver my baby, eh?!

There really are few things better than leaving an acupuncture appointment with every symptom gone (except clearly the baby, but for now we'll just name Piggs the source rather than a symptom). And boy, I came in with a doosey of symptoms today. Yay, healingbyyang. Dennis, the newest miracle worker of my life. Even my non-believing (or at least under-believing) husband can testify to the range of miracles performed (in the form of how many "thank gods" expressed when I'm not moaning and groaning about all of the usual complaints!). Oh, btw, FB- I can super-like his page.

Getting up today, I heard an audible crunch against the pelvis. Hope it wasn't Piggs. Hey, Eeyore, why so low?!

Made it unscathed. Piggs didn't get really pissed at me and I didn't get pissed at the md.

I needs me a stork. Anyone know where I can rent one?

Mommy's here!!!!

Old Ironsides turned to fire her canons in front of Castle Island! Wicked cool, man! Piggies is definitely a seafaring fan!! After mom walked a mile and ate fried clams, she's saying, "Piggs, I dunno what other inspiration you need, but you just missed an awesome sight. Come see for yourself!!! C'mon!!!!!"

Nope, not yet.

This morning, Piggs's hiccups are super cute. Wish I could see them for real by tonight. Right, Piggies??

Yay, my sister and her two girls are here!!! Girls day out getting pedi's!!

Did I mention what a miracle worker this Dennis Yang is?! Went in for acupuncture, came out a new woman. Walked normally (even up stairs!!!) for the first time in a LONG time. Healingbyyang.com. Can't say enough about him and his amazing mentor. Love this man, I'm sure his lovely wife won't mind my sayin!!!

Ok, thoroughly depressed to hear that bc our soybeans are genetically modified, all the tofu I have been eating to bring me joy with Piggs has been counter-productive. That's enough to make me cry. I so heart my tofu!!! Meep. :-/

I don't know the last time I have said quite seriously, "I love my life." Thanks to the incredible people in it who make it all worth it. Yay.

This morning's hiccups not so cute. Timed right with contraction, then kept going, thereby continuing the feeling of said contraction. Ewwwww. Feeling closer, though!! C'mon Piggies!!!

Super happy dance!!! But no , not yet.

Recommended by midwife today: raspberry tea, spicy food, intercourse, and walking. Clearly I'm not the only one who wants to meet Piggs. Sadly, my attempt at spicy failed when I went to King and I. Just not spicy enough.

I am getting closer and closer to becoming a mom- I'm having more and more conversations that involve bowel movements. Disturbing.

I would just LOVE to be sitting in the window of the four seasons tomorrow with my mom, sister and two nieces having afternoon tea with a Piggs sleeping in its carseat next to me. Ah, one can dream. #gettingdesperatetostopbeingpreggers

I don't understand what's wrong with the name Cornelieus Gilgamesh Craig. Why is everyone so down on my suggestions?!

Inspired by the Legend of Zelda: Ganon Craig. No middle name. I am genius.

Came to me in a dream!! Oxana Iphigeneia Craig. Blessed name!

Ok, can I only say that my names are pretty ridiculous but pale in comparison to those coming out of my mother's voodoo kanji calculations and her trusty book. Somebody help-- my names are at least in jest to get me through pain. Hers are painfully serious. Seriously- Ryuta or Yoshiki?!?! But she says HE (yes, her magic coin has predicted it shall be a boy) will be intelligent, thoughtful, loved by everyone, able to conquer any challenge, have a joyful life, and he'll be loaded. Hmm, may not be too bad.... OY. Somebody tell a joke.

I had part of my wish, now for the sleeping Piggs part....

At least I'm eating well. Helmand- another win of a meal. Piggs, if you were breast feeding, you'd get these benefits instead of just feeling the traces of sugar highs. So hurry up, kid!! Come join the ranks of blissful dining!!!!

The good news: we slept through the night. The bad news- Piggs only came out in my dream. Are you gonna meet grandma before she leaves?!?!?! #isuckatbaking #itsgottabemychildwhowontlistentome

Yesterday, I packed my bags and headed to the hospital thinking I was contracting every 10 minutes and I wouldn't be home for a couple of days. I think my child is allergic to the hospital. I got there, one contraction the whole time and Piggs was like, "Why, mom??" They sent mom and nana home, so we went to afternoon tea instead. Today I don't know what a contraction is. I walked yesterday- even up and down stairs. You want me To go to skyjump today??

#paininmybuttandlowerback canusesomelevitation #calgontakemeaway

Yes yes. My husband wakes and says, "How about Thunder. Thunder Craig. Indeed." I knew I married this man for a reason.

Hubbs is all about Tonto Craig.

Now my mom's getting into the spirit. Ma-po tofu with Lots of chili. She wants to meet Piggs before she leaves tomorrow too. C'mon, Piggies. It's not funny anymore.

My funny valentine, sick, twisted valentine, why do you haunt dreams of fall... When others sacrifice their tenure, we despise- you make sox nation halt or stall.....

La di dah di dah di....

What do Bobby Valentine and Piggs have in common?? Their days are both numbered before they're booted out.

Clearly bored bc Piggs ain't doin nothin to come out and play. Boo. My hubbs just ironed 15-16 shirts. Sayin something.

My first OB told me today's the day (way back in the day). Hope she was right! We took little bro's advice and even looked at reasonable names last night, so hopefully Piggs won't be scared anymore. Don't worry, I still love Agamemnon.

Owwww. Piggs just punched me, and I felt it in my butt. Not cool.

Mommy's gone. Boo. Piggs ain't here yet.

Uajizi Craig. Swahili for procrastination.

I got it, I got it!!! Machiavelli Craig!!!!

I've always wanted to see a birth certificate say Jane Doh.

Thanks to my childhood neighbor for inspiration who just named his kid 7 after George Costsnza's suggestion. Here comes Bisquick Mug Craig.

Ok, ok. I'll keep the names in the family. I'll name it after my cousin, T-i.

Buahahahaha. I just saw a post saying everything you want is outside your comfort zone. You can say THAT again. I don't recall what a comfort zone is. Oh wait, it's all coming back to me. NOT BEING PREGGERS. I can offer my services or being an unmotivational speaker on what it's like to be preggers, so stay abstinent for the TOTAL lack of possibility. There ain't nothing in the world worse for a young person. But wait.... And then comes the part when the kid actually comes- that might just be worse. Let me know if you want me to talk to your kid. I'll have em tie their tubes by the end of the convo.

So so so so so so tired!!!

Piggs has MASSIVE attitude. Choosing between its inherited paternal traits or maternal traits, this kid is all about defiance. I'm so screwed. This is even before it's born. Never mind after it's out.........

My midwife says Friday is a blue moon, a fine day to birth a baby. We shall see.

I've got "Let's go fly a kite" stuck in my head. Piggs , ya sayin something??

It's.........Haiku time!!!

Piggies where are you?
I would like to see you soon
Peekaboo suffice

Blood sugar rising
They say that's a sign I'm near
Why can't they be right??

Is it not just me
Eating sweets to calm my nerves
Depression sets in

Monitor your heart
That's all they will care about
That an if you kick

Piggies come to mom
Daddy cannot wait to see
Just how much you wake

Piggs's morse is fun
Daddy's morse is funnier
I would rather talk

Raspberry leaf tea
Apple cider vinegar
I will try them all

Who said chilis work
Vindaloo not hot enough?
Old wives tales are wrong

My oh my I write
Far too many haikus now
I complain in rhyme:

Twas a cloudless day in August
When a mommy was sick of her sagas
She jumped up and down
Cried with a frown
And then her Piggs sighed and said, "Bogus."

The house is all about as quiet gets
With ladies sleeping top to bottom yet
And when the creatures stir awake from sleep We just might need to buy "Sheep in a Jeep."

Piggs says daytime drama is worth some zzzzz's, but the best stuff happens at night. Why oh why can't we just get along?!

Piggs and I have won more games on my phone this morning than usual by this time. Have we sync'd?? Are we breathing together now??? Can we work together to come hang out with each other?????

Is it haiku time again?! Perhaps not as many today.

Agamemnon Craig
Sweet resounding grace
Please come out to play

In the twilight hours
Daddy always snores a lot
Hope he hears your cries

Just because you lean
Left is always lopsided
Mommy is deformed

Sister rocked the house
She got us a new tv
It is in my room

Nesting is so weird
I have never had the bug
Hired cleaners, yes.

Hubby loves his sleep
Maybe he has told the child
Don't come wreck my nights

Kicking me is fun
Laughing while the hiccups come
Rumble in my gut

Played a bunch of games
Someone told us long ago
Stress will make child come

Acupuncture rocks
Have another sesh today
You should see him too

I was thinking hmmm
Child can only give me tude
If I set it free

Mothers always say
First two weeks are hell and back
Hope it's not that bad

How about some names
We keep coming up with some
Smackdown from the press

Wonder what you're like
Pictures fuzzy and so still
Not at all like now

When will you come out
I don't know if I'll survive
One more blessed day

Daddy wants to see
How alike are you and he
What you wanna be?

I must be so tired
Keyboard just jumped right out at me
Hallucination

Why does my phone buzz
It's too early for a ping
Go to sleep my friends

Charger fell right off
Vibrate mode has gone off now
Startling me too

I am not afraid
Of what "capabilities"
My child has to show

We now know this kid
Has a Kung Fu black belt now
Strength and "discipline"

If only it can speak
Ever eloquently now
I can't wait to rhyme

Come today and match
Grandpa's birthday all day long
I would be do pleased

Missed my cousin's day
Even anniversary
Great grandma's day too.

Labor day is near
I shall not be laboring
All the weekend through

It's been written.

My birthday is next
Better come before that day
I won't be so nice

This is final poem
Pleading with the kid and such
I don't want your likes.

Poetry is good
It inspires Piggs to go
Naturally down the path

Quote of the day: "Are you going to be hippy parents and not name your kid until they get to school?" So says the pretty niece.

Piggs is kind to warn me of upcoming contractions.

Are any of you experiencing weird blue moon black outs??

Officially not sharing a birthday with grandpa. But midwife gave the green light to go in when I feel "no longer safe" at home. What's that mean?!

Piggies in my arms
My son's never looked so good
After natural birth

Blue moon baby born
We should ever celebrate
8lb 10oz joy

People, just relax-
"He who shall not be named" is
Operating name

Those who wish to know
Natural childbirth is a pain
No drugs to combat

We did not induce
We went in at 1a.m.
Did not leave the scene.

Piggs was quite alert
Because I had no drugs in us
What an awesome joy!!

Piggies loves to sleep
Piggies also loves to eat
He is so my child

Happy star asleep
All the same in utero
That's why he could wait

Introducing: Huxley Kotaro Craig!

Peek a boo, I see you!!
I'm Baby Huxley and I'm almost 2 whole days old!!

Elephant & Piggie

This is daddy's fix
Hux already knows to bank
On his dad's good grace